Time is running out.

I'm so stuck. So many things running over my mind. About family, friends, love and of coz' my studies. I always hold on to; my life is just not about to convince others. Its up to others whether to trust me or not. Its their choice. Coz' for me, whatever I do is done based on my own decision.

Maybe I sound selfish or etc, but think, why should you try so hard to convince people. The best thing to do is be yourself, and if they can trust you without you trying so hard to convince them, that's good enough.

Talking about my family, as usual, I've been having so much problem trying to gain their trust. But it seems that, whether i do good or bad, they'll still have that something holding them back from putting their trust to me.

Talking about friends, I really hate those who are hypocrites, they find you only when they feel lonely and no one is with them. And, when they with their group of friends, they won't even realise that you're there. For me, friends should always be there.

I have a group of good friends who I treasure alot, my 7 princess, my angels, and my bff - amin. Other than that, are just friends, classmates, schoolmates or just acquantainces.

Talking about love, hmm. I'm stuck. Seriously, I just wish I didn't give anyone hopes. Sometimes you have to hurt a person just for your own happiness; you can't force love.

Sometimes I asked, why people fall for me? Is it because I'm too good or what? Its nature of me to treat others as what they deserve. Don't get mistaken if I treat you good, if I send you back home, if I was always there for you or etc, I did that because I'm your friend and its a responsibilty for me to always be there for you.

If I were to like you, I would treat you even more special.

If I were to go with this person, how about another person which I gave hope? If I were to go with this person, what about our friend feelings?

Its so complicated.

I'm writing so long that I guess no one even bother to read.

About my studies. BLANK.

Ouh ya, my birthday is coming. I'm kinda excited and I can't for suprises awaiting for me. HMM. I just wish that my 19th birthday will be a memorable one.

Some of my friends have been asking me what I want for my birthday. So yah, I'm writing a list of it. HEHE.

1. the black shirt that I saw at AMK Hub with Ah Hui.
2. the converse shoe or ted baker shoe. I love white.
3. a silver bracelet which has my name engraved, SHIZARI.
4. a ed-hardy cap or at least a cap with those graphic designs.
5. a pair of black shorts at messy, bugis junction
6. more, more and more flip-flops, yellow, red or blue.
7. a leather backpack, black or dark brown.
8. the bling-bling handphone strap that has my name on it. SHIZARI.
9. i always wanted a vest, black vest at cotton on.

10. more graphics tees, esp from topman or num. topman on sale now.

I don't like birthday gifts like, those that catches dust, I like those that I can wear or bring with me.

I'm like so lazy to update. School has started. My module timetable sucks to the core. Alot of clashes although I've met the academic manager to help me. There's nothing much she can do. Some modules, I've just have to tap my card and go.

Whatever it is, this week is a stressful one for me too. Like a sudden thing. Just came like that. I'm trying my best to make everyone happy. But sometimes, I do have to disappoint the other, just for my own happiness. I really hope this time it will work. But I'm not giving or putting any hopes. Let's just go with the flow and take it slow. Whatever it is, I will still be myself. Hehe.

I don't know why, out of a sudden.

I knew it was me. But I didn't know it was that long. I don't realise it was coming. I thought, it was my past. I left it, but start anew, friendship.

And just now, I waited for my friend for 3 hours but he didn't appear. What a patient person I am. Excuse or reason, I don't know. But, I'm tired.

I'll update soon.

PICTURES! Haha. Let the photos do part of the post. Raya was fun but not as happening as previous years. I don't know why. I still get duit raya. Haha.

I can say this year I eat less. Usually, I will eat at every house visits. But this time, I didn't really have the mood. Coz' I was freaking tired. I kept yawning all the way. Haha.

During eve of Raya, I slept at 5am. Clean the house and cook with my mum.

As usual, I couldnt wake for Raya prayers at 8am. LOL! I woke up at 8.30am instead. Arrange the cookies in the jar, thats my task every year. Then ask forgiveness with my parents. And start our jalan raya.

Its the same routine every year. I guess I wasn't really quite comfortable coz I was sleepy. Haha. Anyway, enjoy the photos. But don't steal, coz' I know of someone who likes to steal others photo in friendster, blog or anywhere and store in his laptop or handphone. I think its bad.

HAHA! Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf zahir dan batin to all my friends and those reading this.